


Kirin Jindosh Fucks Up; or, The Scientific Method Has Nothing On This

by Troodon



Series: For Drea [2]
Category: Dishonored (Video Games)
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Corvo is done with this shit, Fucking Machines, Humor, Multiple Orgasms, Other, mechanical errors, penis injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 22:04:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9036191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Troodon/pseuds/Troodon
Summary: Prototypes don't always work perfectly





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreabean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreabean/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, you filthy sinner. <3
> 
> This is going to be snippets in no particular order, detailing the many ways his sexbots go horribly wrong.

Kirin Jindosh shuddered, gasping through his orgasm, as the Clockwork Concubine held him down and pounded into him.

"Dis-disengage," he slurred out.

Nothing. The automaton kept rubbing against his prostate, leaving him over-sensitized and increasingly uncomfortable

"Disengage," Kirin commanded more urgently. Still it kept going. "Emergency shut-down protocol one-alpha-beta-three-five!"

"Command unrecognised," it replied. Kirin whimpered and clawed at the bedsheets. This was not going to plan. This was going very wrong.

Kirin twisted until his prosthetic fingers were in reach of his face. Carefully, he bit off the tip of his index finger, revealing the multi-purpose screwdriver he used when he couldn't figure out for the life of him where he put his other three. He twisted again, trying to reach the panel on the automaton's leg to trigger a hard reset.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," he gasped out. His new position forced the machine's dildo even deeper into him, making the nubs he'd added for texture (and science!) stimulate him in new ways. Kirin's hips jerked. Oh, Void, it was starting to feel good again. And he still couldn't reach the panel! Kirin grit his teeth and reached instead for the hands pinning him to the bed. This was going to take a while.

Two more orgasms later, Kirin was finally able to get free. He immediately just slumped back onto his bed, whimpering at every movement and fell into blissful unconsciousness.

 

Kirin fondly regarded his finished product. He'd done what he could to recreate the suction and feel of a mouth. Now to test it.

He activated the device, causing a breeze to pass his nethers as the device started creating a vacuum. Kirin was already hard with excitement. He carefully fed his lubricated cock into the device, bracing himself for what was surely to be a spectacular success.

As soon as he got the head of his cock in the tube, he yelped. He'd forgotten the lubrication would form an excellent seal around his cock, and now he was getting sucked int without mercy. This wasn't part of the plan! This was actually incredibly painful!

Kirin tried to jerk back, crying out as all it did was yank painfully on his stuck cock. He fumbled for the off-button, finally managing to press it and stop the horrible suction. But now he was still stuck in an incredibly embarrassing situation.

Kirin grit his teeth and reached for the screwdriver, again.

 

Once he tried to make a machine with equipment capable of riding him. Once was enough. Clockwork and delicate body parts did not mix at all.

 

Kirin glared at the whalebone monstrosity. Clearly, he needed to make some sort of sobriety test before being allowed into the lab. Somehow, while very drunk, he'd made a Clockwork Concubine out of whalebone and runes. Now, no matter where he was in the lab, he could feel eyes on him. Kirin was not a superstitious man, but he could swear this machine, with its humming runes and Void-light, was _laughing_ at him. Kirin turned away with a huff. He was not going to be bested by an inanimate object.

Two days later, he stuffed it behind a curtain.

That night he dreamed of laughter made of whalesong and the grating of massive bones. Dead, dark eyes watched him with amusement. A mouth with too many teeth grinned at his struggle to get away.

"In all my years," a deadpan voice drawled, following him no matter where he ran, "no one has done anything quite like _this_. Poor Kirin Jindosh. All constantly ticking mind, no healthy fear of what others do." The laughter came again, and Kirin screamed, trying to hide. The black slate cracked beneath his feet, and he tumbled into the Void.

When he woke up to the whalebone monstrosity standing at his bedside, Kirin grabbed his sledgehammer.

 

He was glad he had a test subject for the electric stimulation test, though getting the smell of roasted meat out of his lab took forever. Kirin made a note to figure out how to change the levels of electricity dealt. Unfortunately, he got side-tracked with an idea on using electricity to stimulate parts of the brain. Thus, his erotic electroshock machine was left unfinished.

 

Crack Bonus:  
Corvo stared. This Clockwork Soldier was different from the rest. Instead of the standard lacquered, wooden armour, it was covered in whalebone. The air warped and shimmered with power. He studied it, gaze slipping downward before catching on something else.

Was that-? No, it couldn't- It wasn't- 

It _was!_

Corvo recoiled, staring at the whalebone penis jutting out from the automaton's groin. He knew, from a certain natural philosophy sketch passed around when he was a boy, that that was not a human phallus, but a _Void-damned whale's!_ He had heard rumours of Jindosh's strangeness, but this, this took not only the cake, but the entire bakery!

Suddenly the Clockwork not-Soldier shifted, moving to a casual lounge against the wall.

"Enjoying the view, my dear Corvo?" a familiar voice drawled.

"Nope." Corvo threw a grenade, then another, throwing stealth to the wind. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope."

Corvo would rather take two squads of guards than deal with this.


End file.
